She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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