But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize