You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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