then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I need moral support for this bender
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
