There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
