that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
