I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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