The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize