Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
