He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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