went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
