If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just found puke in my bra..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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