Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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