all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
