these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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