how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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