don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
