butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
