dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize