Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
