I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
