you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
In America we eat man semen.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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