No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
