he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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