went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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