That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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