so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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