Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
