nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
