Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
