after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
