Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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