Do you still have your period?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
