ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
