Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have aggressive nipples.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
