Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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