Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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