She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
