I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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