is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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