I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
