the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
