thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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