I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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