Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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