no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
