Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
