Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
