Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I will pee on everything he values.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
