Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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