Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
