hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
