I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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