it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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