420 ftw
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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