great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
