I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
