i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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