You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Pooping to opera.
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