I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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