Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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