Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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