someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
