So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
