Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize