The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
