i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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