Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
