Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
