I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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