mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
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