Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize