youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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