she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
