I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize