You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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