It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
