i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
