its not stalking. its research.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
