We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
