I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
